Flightster

Mobility is the New Facebook

• by Colin Wright
• on January 24th, 2011
• 1 Comment

You heard it here first: mobility is the new Facebook.

Not literally, of course. Being able to hop on a flight and dash to a new city on a whim will not increase your exposure to other people’s digital farms.

It will, however, increase the strength and number of REAL connections that you make, and that’s something the net can’t top.

Let me give you an example.

Over the holidays this year, I spent Christmas with my family in Missouri and then went skiing with them in Illinois. I received word that a few blogging friends of mine were hosting a Tweetup in Chicago a few days after my ski trip, so I spoke with one of them and ended up with a ride to Chicago, a place to stay for a week or so, and the opportunity to meet a lot of really great people in real life at the Tweetup.

Suddenly, the people who showed up to the event were not just avatars on a screen or names in my inbox, but actual people with facial expressions and families and quirks and everything that a real person has.

I was also able to get much closer with the blogger-friend that I stayed with, and now she and I are best friends, knowing pretty much all there is to know about another person, all because we were able to meet up in person and spend tangible time together.

Is it possible that with enough time I would have reached the same relationship level with these people just by communicating online? Yes, it’s possible. Is it likely? Not very. Would it have taken a lot more time? An extraordinary amount of time.

I’m not bashing on online communication. In fact, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without it.

I would go so far as to say that MOST of my strongest relationships (professional, personal and yes, even romantic) have started online, and some of them remain so. The power of the Internet is that you can get in touch with people who you NEVER would have gotten in touch with in previous decades, because they live way too far away, frequent different social circles or even just aren’t someone you wouldn’t normally talk to for whatever reason. These barriers are breached and slowly demolished by a healthy online social life, and that should not be downplayed.

Because of the online world’s strength, however, it’s easy to forget the simple, humble power of a one-on-one, in person interaction.

The little details we can glean from even the simplest of interactions – meeting up for coffee – is astounding.

You see them smile, can read their body language, can hear their voice, can see how they sip their drink and what kind of drink they buy (did they use a credit card? cash? just coins? a coupon?). How they sit is important, so is how they gesticulate while talking. Do they take notes? Do they have a contagious laugh? Do they people watch while chatting, or are their eyes focused on yours intently? Uncomfortably?

These seems like small, unimportant details on the surface, but they all add up to something very big and meaningful: the essence of a person as they really are.

The mental image you put together of a person is constructed from these little details, and while you can cobble together some kind of portrait from what’s available online, the images and videos and writings and information that you’re drawing from is an idealized version of them. You’re reading and seeing and tallying what they want you to see, and though this can be somewhat accurate, seldom does it tell the whole story.

The best way to approach modern interaction is this: use both options for their strengths, but be sure to have balance between the two. The web is an amazing tool for finding and filtering and sorting through and organizing and maintaining relationships, but real life interaction is what solidifies those ties, taking them to the next level.

In order to get that real life contact, however, it’s necessary to be more mobile than most people are. Working a 9 to 5 generally allows for a few weeks of vacation each year, plus the barrier-to-entry that the everyday hours erect. It can be tricky to travel far, and that’s a fact.

I would encourage anyone looking to expand their horizons, make new friends or even find someone to share their life with to travel more – despite the difficulties that can arise in trying to do so – because the payoff is so much greater than the investment.

I’m currently in Seattle, staying with an old friend, and we’ll be throwing a party in a few days that started out as a housewarming event but has quickly evolved into a Tweetup that will play host to people from all over the country.

Folks are flying in, not for the alcohol and veggie chips, but because they are looking to make some real, human connections.

They recognize that getting to know me and my friend and the other folks who will be here will be of value to them, and because of this some are taking off work, rescheduling other plans and generally going to great lengths to come to Seattle for a few days, or even just the night of the party.

People + real life = incredibly valuable connections.

It’s a simple equation, and though it doesn’t have the sophistication of one of Facebook’s algorithms, in some ways it’s a whole lot more powerful. Make use of it.

Just take it easy on the poking. It’s not as charming in real life.

Colin Wright

Colin Wright is a minimalist, branding expert and serial entrepreneur. While running his blog Exile Lifestyle ,his branding studio Colin Is My Name and his e-publishing business ebookling. Colin travels the world (moving to a new country every 4 months), meeting up with amazing people, giving talks (to audiences ranging from tech industry professionals to college students to Catholic school girls) and hunting down new and interesting experiences.